i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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