i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
