Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
