we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize