Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize