Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
