at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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