i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
