I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize