I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
