I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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