My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
