apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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