i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So vagazzling was a success
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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