I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
