Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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