How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
