I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
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My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
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I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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