Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
