We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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