Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
