I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
