The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
