he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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