Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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