he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
