i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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