I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
