so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I just googled if crying burns calories
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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