Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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