bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
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she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
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No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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