butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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