Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
