Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
