Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
She's not a foreskin expert like you
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
