my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
