well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
