she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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