So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Are we still banned from the library?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
