In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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