he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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