btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
