I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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