last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
