just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
