I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
i've created a new STD.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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