So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
