You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
