i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize