You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
