too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
