I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
