Can Purell be used as lube?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
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