girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
