They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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