best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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