Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
It's shark week go big or go home
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
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