everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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