About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
